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"I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game. It is called an eraser."
-Arnold Palmer
"Golf is a game in which you yell "fore"... shoot six... and write down five."
-Paul Harvey
"The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing."
-Phyllis Diller
"You can't go into a shop and buy a good game of golf."
-Sam Snead
"Swing hard in case you hit it."
-Dan Marino
"Playing golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture."
-Sir Winston Churchill
"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."
-Hank Aaron
If it goes right, it's a slice. If it goes left, it's a hook. If it goes straight, it's a miracle!
"Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well."
-Anonymous
"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators."
-Gerald Ford
"His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing."
-Lee Trevino, on the three things an aging golfer looses.
"I had played so poorly recently, I started thinking that maybe I should do something else. Then I saw my friends going to work everyday and realized that my life wasn't so bad."
-Steve Pate